For many, the holiday season can be a difficult time. In which unresolved emotional issues rise up, as family and friends gather.
This symbolically becomes a time for old reactions and defensive patterns to come to play as we take on our roles in the family system. The most common defensive reaction is anger and frustration, which leads to words being spoken that often lead to more resentment.
Here is a technique that will empower you to have conscious empowerment over your responses.
Conscious Acceptance and Empowerment for Anger in 7 Steps
1. Identify the words/ speech that you believe triggered the reaction
2. Make a conscious, pause, taking in 3 breaths from the stomach all the way to the nasal cavity
3. Examine what is the belief that underlies the trigger. Ie: Are you still in that relationship? When will you get a better Job? Belief: I am not good enough
4: Now is this belief true ( factually)? By disputing it. No, you clearly are doing the very best you can as is everyone else
5. Deep acceptance: I accept that I cannot control what others say but I can control the way I think about myself
6. Now, decide how you will respond in a calm and empowered manner.
7. This internal pause, breathing and rational thought process allows you to get out of Amygdala Hijack Mode and into a calm and self-assured mode.
These patterns can be changed and allow you to break free of the mental cage of anger and resentment. This will transform all your relationships through the simple and rational acceptance of what is.